Do It Yourself Sci-Fi Movie: Just Add Actors and Scenery

"That transmission isn't coming from Earth!"


"This wasn't built by human hands!"


"We're entering a black hole!"


"Professor!"


"It's some sort of mechanical man!"


"Man was not meant to play god!"


"It's some sort of genetic experiment gone horribly wrong!"


(Sound effects) BLEEP-BLOOP, whirrrrrr......click


"Prepare for light speed jump!"


"You mean....we're not the first life form on this planet?"


"It's some sort of atomic mutation!"


"How can you speak English?"


"On Earth we call this 'kissing'."


"Their technology is centuries beyond ours!"


"You can't go out there without a helmet!"


"Prepare for blast off!"


"I-am-programmed-to-serve-you."


"Meteor shower!"


"Now sample a taste of my Death Ray!"


"I speak as a representative of the other planets."


"The computer has become self aware!"


"We come in peace." (Sound effect) KABOOM!!!


"It's a flying saucer!"


"It's a giant egg!"


"But what powers it?"


"We're headed straight for the Sun!"


"Turn on the artificial gravity."


"Help me strap on my jet pack!"


"Careful! They have ray guns!"


"This ship is atomic powered!"


"Does your planet no longer experience love?"


Theremin: oooo-WEEEEEE-OOOOHHHH-oooo

Do It Yourself Horror Movie: Just Add Actors and Scenery

"This looks like a good place for a midnight swim!"


"Hey! I think I felt something brush against my leg!"


"Slide on over here, baby!" "Johnny! Did you hear something?"


"Lock the door! LOCK THE DOOR!!"


"Don't touch me! DON'T TOUCH ME!!"

"My hand! MY HAND!!"


"It's coming closer! CLOSER!! CLOSER!!!"


"No! NO!! NOOOOO!!!"


Pretty much anything repeated three times with increasing emphasis; for example:
"Jelly donuts! JELLY DONUTS!! JELLY DONUTS!!!"


"The room is covered in.... blood!"


"Are those....teeth marks?"


"The whole house smells of rotting flesh!"


"Those tracks weren't made by anything....human!"


"Good Lord!" (Sound effects) Gasp! Choke!


"Is that a slime trail?"


"My god! It doesn't have a head!"


"What the hell is that thing?"


"His flesh! It's MELTING!"


"Something made him explode...FROM THE INSIDE!"


(Sound effect) Drip!-Drip!-Drip!


"My god! It's horrible!"


"It's like a ______ (pick an innocuous creature of your choice), only of incredible size!"


"Are those HUMAN bones?"


"He looks like he's been chewed to pieces!"


"It's inconceivable that a human body could be stuffed into a space that small!"


"I think we've managed to get awa..hhhmmmmmpppphhh!!"


"...and so the world is safe....(turn to camera) FOR NOW!"


THE END?


Heartbeat sound: ba-BUMP! ba-BUMP! ba-BUMP!

Do It Yourself War Movie: Just Add Actors and Scenery

"But, he's just a child!"


"Up, men! Time to shower, shave, shit and brush your teeth!"


"Soldier! This place smells like piss and hand grenades!"


"Here's a picture of my gal, Betty Lou. They say it should clear up in a couple of months...."


"Wow! What a set of gams!"


"We never knew what hit us!"


"Poor bastards never had a chance!"


"Bombs away!"


"This is for Billy you __________(insert racist nationalist stereotype of you choice here) bastards!"


"Fire one!"


"Those _______ (insert) bastards don't think like we do!"


"Depth charges!"


"Bail out! Bail out!"


"It's from Daisy. She's left me for a door to door cyclotron salesman."


"Hack it off! I said HACK IT OFF!!"


"Our main act got sick and can't make it tonight, but here's a nifty little gal with a lot of spunk that I'm sure you're gonna love...."


"Do it Johnny! Do it for little Billie and Uncle Joe!"


"They may have the numbers and equipment, but we have something worth fighting for !"


"Someday this will all be over, and when it is I'm going back to my worm farm in Idaho."


"...and thus history will always remember the men of the fighting 109th...."


Snare drum: Tat-tatah-tat-tat-tat-tat-tatahtatah... 

Yuks 22

It's a sign, I tell you! A sign!

I am, among other things, a bicyclist, a recumbent bicyclist to be specific. At my present location there is a route I take which includes a rather large dip in the road, a sort of small valley. Climbing is difficult though not extended (this is Texas we are talking about, and you do not see any signs or advertisements anywhere stating "Ski Texas!"). On the return trip however it is a nice little fast coast to the bottom. I've gotten up to 42 miles per hour going down. This is an older, two lane road, though, so the ride can be rough. Now at the bottom of the hill there is a tree on one side of the road. That in and of itself is not unusual. No, it is the inhabitants of the tree that are of interest. A group of vultures flock in that tree. 

At the bottom of the hill. 

On a two lane rough road, lacking any type of shoulder. 

Maybe they are on to something I should know about.

Album Covers of the DAMNED! Special Christmas Edition

Album Covers of the DAMNED! 9